You Won’t See This In A Marathon Race Description

I found this in an email description of a local trail running race in Texas.

The area we will be occupying is in is a *flash flood zone*, so be aware of your surroundings. *Critters:* Rattlesnakes, scorpions, and wild boar live in the area and can be more active at night.

They forgot to add: Guaranteed PR! Plenty of natural inspiration throughout the course. Your body will simply desire to run fast.

I wonder what they have for post race food? Hmmm

At least you won’t have to run any moose intervals.

If you have encountered any unique race descriptions, please share them in the comment link below.

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David – EnduranceBuzz.com

About the author

David Hanenburg is the passionate dirt-lovin' creator of Endurance Buzz and has been playing in the endurance sports world since 2000 after knockin' the dust off of his Trek 950 hardtail thanks to a friend asking to go ride some local dirt. In 2007 he ran his first ultra on the trails and fell in love with the sport and its people. For more information on David's endurance sports journey, check out the About page.

2 Responses to “You Won’t See This In A Marathon Race Description”

on 26 Aug 2009 at 7:31 am 1Blaine Moore

You must never have read Stumpy’s Race Description, which isn’t too far off:
http://www.udel.edu/johnmack/traildawgs/stumpys.html (this is on my list of races to do when I don’t have a broken foot.)

Some choice excerpts from the race page:

The “course” (if you want to call it that) is an interesting jaunt that is guaranteed to be at least 26.2 miles, and will not exceed 28 or maybe 35 miles.

Race amenities include: a scenic racecourse with many barely-visible directional markings, a place to start, and a clearly defined finish where you can record your finish time. All finishers will receive a handshake and maybe a signed certificate of completion from Stumpy himself or some other crummy keepsake. Numerous water stations have been designated, and we hope to actually have water at some of them. However, you should carry at least 20+ oz. of your preferred beverage in a refillable container, since the maximum distance between water stations may range anywhere from 5 to 26.2 miles.

Last year’s race was, once again, a huge disappointment for the organizers, because the weather was okay, runners could actually see most of the trail marks if they looked closely, aid stations had actual people handing out stuff, the rangers weren’t needed to “put down” any injured runners, and all the people who came out looking for a spouse or whatever went home with somebody, even if it wasn’t who they arrived with. But this year we are anticipating overnight rain to wash away trail marks, followed by 100+ temps with humidity for the run itself; way more ticks, poison ivy and other fun stuff; aid station volunteers who’ll get bored ridiculing exhausted runners and quit early; armed and hostile property-owners who will be ready for us this year; and various other screw-ups to make this year’s event way funner than last year’s.

Registration is free, simply email the Royal Stumpmeister or regular mail to Stumpy’s Marathon, c/o Stewart Dotts, 812 Branch Road, Newark, DE 19711.
It would be really swell if folks would actually let us know they’re coming, like before they show up on Saturday morning.

Sounds like fun all around to me…

on 26 Aug 2009 at 8:36 am 2David Hanenburg

Funny!